Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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