my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
