He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She bit a glass in half.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
