Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
