I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
