I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its not stalking. its research.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
