I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
