i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
