I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
