Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
