Christians are straight up FREAKS
You just made me feel so damn special
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
