So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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