Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
