My sheets look like a crime scene.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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