What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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