..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
