nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
