just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
