dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
