We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
