oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
