Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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