This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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