My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
