is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize