Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
