You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
