scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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