Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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