did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
