I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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