party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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