I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
