Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
