dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
