Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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