Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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