I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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