yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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