dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
