you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i've created a new STD.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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