Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
