literally had 100 drinks last night.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
