I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Randomize
