I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
