wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
