Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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