Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
