I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
