My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
