at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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