Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
