I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
