there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
don't judge my taste in strippers
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
