I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
