and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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