Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
